I am going to be honest, I have felt prompted to work on my marriage lately. Don't get me wrong, my husband is fabulous and I am so lucky to have married such a wonderful man but we just aren't in that great of a place right now. Nothing is "wrong" per se we are just in the oh-so-common funk that couples get into when they have a house full of young children. We are just co-existing.
Luckily we make great roommates, but I miss my husband. We are both to blame. We can also put blame on exhaustion, our kids, our jobs, and so many other things but the honest truth is that it is our responsibility to prioritize and get out of the funk.
I am a huge believer that God should be first your priority then your spouse and then your children followed by everything else. I know so many people put their children first before spouses but I believe God calls us to raise our children to send them out onto their own. When we married our spouses we became one body in Christ. Just think about it, once your kids are out of the house...what's left? That's right, just you and your spouse. Ideally, you are still in love when life comes full circle.
I don't want to open a huge debate about this, I just bring it up because it is so easy to get wrapped up in kids activities and conversations about the children's lives. Before you know it neither one of you can remember the last moment you spent with each other where the kids were not on the mind. This is where the challenge comes in. Prioritizing your spouse and your relationship with them. Commiting to finding time to spend alone together. Having adult conversation. Investing in the things that make each other happy and putting your spouse above your children.
I brought up my feelings to my hubby last night. He listened and agreed. We have not put pen-to-paper yet (which I think is so important) and gotten specifics on the calendar yet but we did brainstorm ways to find time for each other. After our discussion yesterday evening, we sat outside together and watched our daughter play. Yes, we were focusing on our child but our conversation was adult and focused on one another.
When my husband came home today he suggested we load the kids up and take them for a walk through the neighborhood. It was great because while the kids were technically there, we still got to have time to focus on one another.
I got the name and number of a trusted babysitter today and plan on calling her this week to get some dates scheduled. We also decided that one or two nights a week, after the kids are asleep we are going to turn off computers and cell phones and sit on the couch watching TV together.
The steps might seem little but I believe that it is the awareness that is the most important thing. I love my husband so much and I want to continue to build our marriage and make it even stronger than it already is.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Am I the only one? If you have any tips on finding time for one another amidst the chaos of kids, I would love to hear them.