Monday, February 28, 2011

I don't know how they do it

I never wanted kids. Seriously. I did not grow up baby sitting. I did not have a lot of younger cousins to watch over. I am not sure I even played with baby dolls. It is not that I didn't like babies, I mean I am not heartless or anything. I just didn't want kids.

In college, when I got super serious with my now husband, I used to have trouble breathing at the thought of getting married...mainly because I thought that meant kids would come next. And I didn't want kids.

Well, long story short, my heart changed as I got older. Slowly but surely my heart changed to the point of having an actual argument with my husband one night because I was ready to start trying for children and he wasn't. Wow, things had really changed.

Well, obviously, we had kids. Two adorable kids. They are wonderful. I cannot imagine my life without them.

After weeks like last week I also cannot imagine life without my husband. After long days at work, he came home to fussy, sick kids and just went into parenting rockstar mode. Then into the night he would take turns with me as we got up with both sick kids. Over and over again. Not a single complaint. Seriously. Even when I was crabby and fussy too. Not a complaint.

This is what our baby looked like a lot this week. Fever and teething. And now a cough. Boo.

He also cooks and cleans on a daily basis and gives me a day off without the kids every Saturday. I mean my. world.

Enough bragging. This post is not meant to be about my family. It is meant to honor and uplift all the single moms out there. They don't have a rockstar spouse to pull the weight when the weeks are rough. I seriously do not know how you do it. Just the thought of single parenting is both terrifying and inspiring to me. On a good week, single moms have it tough. On a bad week, they have it really rough.

Honestly, think about it. They undoubtably work some sort of full time job and then pick up kids and head home to fix dinner and get them to bed. No playtime. No let-me-stop-and-check-facebook time. No time to un-wind after a day at work. After the child(ren) are in bed single moms are surely doing housework and laundry and making grocery lists. Since there is no time during the week, I am certain the weekend is filled with errands and hopefully a little fun with the child(ren).

Here is our daughter this week. She had a nasty something or other. Fever for 4 days. She felt bad and was super ugly about it. A true pleasure to be around.

Getting a day off without the kids? Nope. Having someone else cook and clean with you or for you? Nope. They do it all.

Now imagine a bad week. One where a child (or mom!) is sick. There are deadlines at work. Bills are overdue. A car needs repair. Imagine all the "normal" week stuff plus this bad stuff. Seriously? How is it even possible? And yet they do it all the time.

I am constantly wishing there were more hours in the day. Can you imagine how single mom's feel? I am in awe of their spirit, determination, work ethic, parenting ability and overall ability to keep things together. You women absolutly inspire me. Honestly, there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of how single moms are dealing with the situations that I am in. I am such a most situations. I am also pretty helpless a lot of the time. I am certain that I would fail miserably as a single mom.

This post is turning into such a downer. It wasn't supposed to. This is supposed to be a rush of praise for single moms. I hope that you get what I am trying to say. To all you single moms out there: You are amazing! I pray that you all have some sort of support system whether it be family or great friends. I pray that you get some sort of respit from your child(ren) whether it be a little time away or just really great behavior. I pray that your money would miraculously go further. Most of all I pray that you would feel encouraged as you continue doing what you are doing.

Are any of you out there single moms? If you are I would love for you to leave me a comment so that I can encourage you personally a little.



Tammy @ she wears flowers said...

You are so sweet to be thinking of everyone else in the midst of all your woes! Hope your kiddos feel better!

I'm not a single mom, but I am feeling more grateful for a husband who also helps with this stuff--thanks for the reminder!

bethany said...

I wonder the same thing often. I could NOT do it! I feel the same way about moms whose husbands are deployed. Wow. They all must get 10 extra doses of patience.

amy said...

I was a single mom and yes, it was HARD! I was lucky enough to find a wonderful man who not only loved me but loved my daughter too! I join you in wishing all those fabulous women out there the best of everything and the luck of finding their partner! :)

Nicole said...

You are so right. I don't know how they do it either. I have had sick kids a lot this winter as well and my crew just got over the fever/cough thing...turns out it was RSV. They tested my baby boy (the youngest of 3) and he was positive. I'm sure the big brother (who is 7) brought it home from school and shared it with everyone. :) Sorry you've had a tough week! I feel your pain.

The Silva's said...

Oh, how this post came at just the right time!!! Sabrina, thank you so much!!! I am a (newly) single mom, and it is tough, but when you look at the faces of those sweet babies, it is all worth it!! Every jam-packed full second of the day!!!

Hope your little ones are doing much better!!!

Cute little You Bowtique said...

I was a single divorced mom at just 20 ( I got pregnant in high school) living on my own. I had two Jobs and went to school at night. I wasn't getting any child support ether. It was one of the hardest thing in my life.I was lucky to have a supportive family and able to bring my son to work with me since I was a preschool teacher and even though he couldn't be in my class I could see him on breaks and lunch. My mom was so helpful and watched my son at night while I went to school. Things have definitely gotten easier for me. I now have a wonderful husband who adopted my son. I am a work at home mom with my own bowtique. I thought I could never be a single mom but I survived and I came out of it a better person. I appreciate my marriage so much more and don't take my husband for granted. It has made me more responsible and independent. I feel like I can do anything I want in life. I would not be the person I am today if I would not have went through those experiences and I wouldn't have the kids or husband I have ether.

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